TING-A-LING
By Alex J. Socorro
It was another
of those quiet days at the Film Academy
and I was focused on my computer monitor
when the stentorian voice of the Director
General shattered the deathly quiet atmosphere.
“Eh kaya ako tumawag kasi andito
si Ting-a-ling.” Leo Martinez was
on the phone, talking to I-don’t-know-who.
But my mind silently asked, Ting-a-ling
who? My mental query was answered by Leo
as if he had ESP. “Si Ting-a-ling,
si Berting Labra.”
Since it was
my wont to mind my own business, I resumed
working. It didn’t take long, however,
for me to hear two voices now, one stentorian
and another with a raspy voice. “Okay
na, okay na raw,” said the stentorian
voice. “Eh tinatanong nga kung bakit
ka raw andito?” The raspy voice
replied, “Wala, pumasyal lang ako.”
The exchanges of dialogue continued but
I didn’t mind until the owners of
those two voices barged in our cubicle
to converse with Director Jose Carreon,
our web editor
The best I could remember
of Berting Labra was his role in Lo Waist
Gang. Although I hadn’t seen the
movie, old writeups abound in the internet.
When he resurfaced in the movie industry
a few years back, Berting’s comedian
image got stuck in my mind.
“Nung gabi na nga,
matapos maghapunan,” Berting was
reminiscing of an unnamed person who always
provides him meals, “sabi ba naman
eh doon na raw ako matulog. So, doon nga
ako natulog. Pagkagising namin, punta
kami sa labas. May carinderia pala yung
kapatid eh di libre kami sa almusal. Tapos
sa tanghalian, fiesta naman ang dinayo
namin kaya libre kain na naman,”
laughter trailed his statement which gave
me an impression that Berting loves free
lunches.
“Yan ngang si Erap,
naku, parang mahina ang pakiramdam. Tuwing
darating ako sa kanya, tanong agad kung
kumain na ko. Four times akong nagpunta
sa kanya, four times din siyang nagtanong
kung kumain na ko. Yun lang ang tanong…
kung kumain na ko.” I had to stop
what I was doing and had to listen intently
to Berting who was now showing his true
color. “Sagot ko syempre…
busog ako. Nakakahiya namang sabihin yung…
sobre ang kailangan ko,” laughter
filled our cubicle.
Berting is actually not
a freeloader. He was trying to show that
deep friendship goes down deep. He had
shown it to Eddie Fernandez – walang
iwanan. He went to jail, together with
Eddie Fernandez, for gunning down a certain
Pangilinan. Berting had paid dearly for
being an accomplice to the crime. He was
incarcerated for more than 10 years but
he had no regrets because he did it for
a friend.
“Mabuti pa nga si
Jinggoy, marunong makisakay,” another
laughter, “pero si Erap… ewan
ko ba.” I was getting the impression
that Berting Labra had that habit of laughing
and trying to enjoy even a crisis. He
was making fun of his friends just so
to forget the realities. “Pag nakita
ako ni Jinggoy, yayakap yan sabay bulong…
kailangan mo ba ng pera?”
“Pero si Ronnie iba
talaga,” Berting shifted to FPJ
who was godfather of everyone in show
business. “Biruin mo yan, ha? Panay
ang padala sa kin ng sobre. Ang masakit
nga lang eh yung tagadala pala may porsyento.
Yeees, tinataga nila ang laman ng sobre.
Eh nakakahiya naman kay Ronnie kung sasabihin
kong, Ronnie, salamat sa ten thousand,
ha? Kalahati ang nababawas sa padalang
pera ni Ronnie sa akin, parang tax, ano?”
As a sign of intimate talk,
Berting whispered but a bit loud for me
to hear. “Kawawa nga si Ronnie nung
election. Naku, ang daming nakaloko dyan.
Yung isa nga twelve milyon ang itinakbo.
Twelve ha? Hindi biro yun, aba! Ang hirap
kasi kay Ronnie, sobrang magtiwala sa
mga tao. Hindi mo naman masabing uto-uto.
Masyado lang talagang mabait. Kung nanalong
presidente yan eh di patayo-tayo na lang
sana ako sa Malacañang. Aba, milyon
ang kikitain ko sa mga magpapapirma sa
presidente. Kaya siguro hindi nanalo,”
Berting chuckled to emphasize that it
was only a joke.
”Suwerte nga si Erap,”
it was evident that Berting felt a bit
guilty on that joke so he segued back
to Joseph Estrada. “Lahat natikman
niya, mayor, senador, vice tapos president.
Bihira ang taong nakatikim ng lahat….
tisay, morena…” Berting’s
humor is of a different breed, serious
talk coupled with a joke or a joking truth.
“Aba, favorite ni Erap talaga ang
maiitim. Kita mo si G., morena yan. Si
Nora. Naku, may isa pang starlet nung
araw, hindi ko akalaing tataluhin niya.
Ang itiiiim talaga!”
After a guffaw, Berting
continued, “Killer din ng kapareha
yan. Itanong mo kay Perla. Ay teka, si
Perla nga pala niligawan ni V. yan. Kaya
nga nung naglaban sa presidente si Erap
at si V., tinanong ko si Perla, o, kanino
ka? Hindi makasagot,” Berting emiited
a short laughter and a long cough.
“But in fairness,
mabait si Erap sa mga babae niya. Walang
nagugutom. Sige, itanong mo kay Perla,”
another laughter. “Kaya nga nung
araw kay Perla kami dumidikit. Pag okay
na kay Perla eh di okay na rin kay Erap.”
It was said that Perla Bautista was Erap’s
first love. The romance failed to bloom
when Erap’s parents showed disapproval.
But in the movie industry, Perla Bautista
was a favorite for Erap’s leading
lady.
“Dati nga dumalaw
yan sa bilangguan. Basketball, nag-basketball
sila dun. Naku, hindi ka maniniwala, pinagpantasyahan
yan ng mga bilanggo. Eh ang kinis kasi
ng binti. Walang balahibo yan sa binti,
akala mo babae talaga ang mga legs. Alam
mo naman ang mga bilanggo, sabik.”
Erap had visited Berting in jail with
a matching basketball exhibition for the
benefit of the inmates.
“Lalong naging matindi
si Erap nung umasenso sa pulitika. Pero
hindi lang naman siya ang mahilig sa maitim.
Si ano, si R. R., may anak yan sa isang
maitim na artista. Ano nga bang alan nun?”
I offered the name Wilma Doesnt but it
didn’t fit the description. “Hindi,
maitim din yun… yung kasama nina
Vic Sotto.” After a short while,
Berting found his tongue again. “Si
J., oo, yun nga. May anak dun si R. R..
Eh di ba’t tisoy si R. R.?”
“Pagdating sa husay
ng paghawak ng pera, walang tatalo kay
Tito.” Berting and comedian Chiquito
had been buddies. “Magaling sa pera
si Tito kaya nung mamatay yan, ang laki
ng naiwan sa pamilya saka ang daming properties.
Ang galing ding makisama ni Tito pero
matipid talaga… hindi namimigay
ng sobre,” Berting closed his statement
with the now familiar chuckle. Chiquito
was once a Makati councilor and acting
vice-mayor when he succumbed to liver
cancer. In the race track where he used
to hang out (he was a former jockey),
people in the know say that Chiquito could
win a woman because he had the guts to
make an offer that couldn’t be refused
– a house and lot. It was also said
that Chiquito had 9 wives aside from Vilma,
the legal wife.
More showbiz chika emanated
from Berting’s mouth before turning
dead serious. “Ibang-iba na ang
industriya ngayon. Buti nga may kumukuha
pa sa akin. Dun nga sa huling shooting
eh pinag-stunt ako. Kinaya ko naman. Eh
talagang ganyan, mahirap kumita ngayon
kaya kahit stuntman pinapasok ko na.”
Berting wanted to emphasize the hardships
of the movie industry but he also wanted
to show that he is a trouper who would
do whatever the director wants him to
do.
Sadly, Berting’s
olden days will never come back. He may
remain in the movies or in the TV for
long but everything had changed…
for the worse. Less work, less income.
Roles are hard to come by but Berting
Labra is still waiting for the big break.
Another Lo Waist Gang, maybe? I don’t
think so.
Comments to this article
can be sent to ajsocorro@yahoo.com
